How to Pick an Engagement Ring
Choosing the Right Engagement Ring for Her
Considering formalizing your relationship with the lady? The next step is obviously to go out and get an engagement ring. Take a deep breath if the thought of staring at a glittering tray of rings that all look the same and cost thousands of dollars has your heart racing. Feel safe with us. Choosing the perfect ring to propose with isn't something that should add unnecessary stress to the proposal planning process. That's why we polled actual women (including a jeweler, some friends, and our mothers) on what they wish guys with wedding intentions knew before shopping for an engagement ring. Your prospective bride is an individual, but a ring is a ring, and these women can help you choose the perfect one to put on her ring finger.
Tips for Engagement Ring Shopping
Since she will (ideally) wear her ring for the rest of her life, it should be a reflection of her taste. Duh. The question everyone has been waiting for is: Just what is she wearing? Have some composure. There are a number of stealthy methods to find out the answer to this question. Where do I begin? Observe. I was wondering what type of jewelry she was sporting today. Can it be seen from far away, or is it more subtle and understated? Is it the more unusual yellow gold, rose (pink) gold, silver, or white gold—the latter of which sometimes passes for silver but is more often seen in rings of a more subdued hue—? Be sneaky and check out what she has in her jewelry box. It's likely that her preferred jewelry style will begin to reveal itself to you after a while.
How to Determine the Perfect Engagement Ring Size
While you're investigating her jewelry, you may as well find out what size ring she wears. Having a ring that won't fit onto her finger when you propose is a certain way to dampen the mood.
Since everyone's ring fingers are somewhat different sizes, it's best to track down one she currently wears on that finger and copy its inside onto paper for the jeweler. If you're on the fence about the size of the ring to buy, remember that it can be resized later, but it's far simpler (and cheaper) to take metal away from the band than to add it. For once, it's OK to make an exaggerated assessment of her stature.
Find your girlfriend's sister, closest friend, or mum and let them in on your plans if you need a second opinion on her fashion sense. Not only will they appreciate the extra attention, but they've probably already discussed with your girlfriend what she's looking for in an engagement ring. They may even offer to accompany you to the jewelry shop in order to help you narrow down your alternatives. Lastly, Danielle Mainas, founder of Little Bird, a diamond and engagement ring consultancy firm, suggests, "Ask her!" if you want to make sure she receives the ring she likes.
Consider the Following
Why not immediately bring up the subject of marriage if you and your girlfriend are serious? Getting a basic concept of what she's looking for in a ring (from her!) might spare so much misery for both of you. This doesn't mean that the when and how of the proposal can't still be surprises. Debbie Linton, who has been married for over 40 years, says, "I believe the concept that a potential spouse would prefer to be shocked with a ring during the proposal is a fallacy. Choosing an engagement ring jointly may be a romantic outing to the jewelry shop and an assurance that the band will be perfect for the recipient.
Think about the origin
You're concerned about whether or not the emblem of your successful marriage was extracted in a sustainable manner. The good news is that the diamond industry has been leading the way by providing valuable services to the communities in which it operates via its social impact initiatives. One such instance is: Diamonds Do Good is an online community that recognizes businesses for their contributions to improving the quality of life in diamond-producing nations by advancing issues such as environmental protection, public health, and youth development. Community outreach initiatives, such as sports teams for Russian children in partnership with diamond miner Alrosa, mentorship programs in India from diamond company Rosy Blue, and diamond miner De Beers' small business development in Southern Africa, are all examples of the DiamondEmpowerment Fund's work. But what can you do? If you're going to purchase a diamond, make sure it comes from a firm that cares about its employees and the planet. For example, the Russian diamond company Alrosa pays its miners several times the average salary in Russia, provides them with three months of paid vacation (which seems pretty necessary when working in a place that has "permafrost," whatever that is), and keeps them busy all year long, despite the freezing cold conditions that often shut down work opportunities at other companies in Mirny, the center of Russian diamond production.
Shop Wisely
One option to consider is a throwback. Since diamonds remain forever, purchasing a vintage piece not only allows you to reuse a stone that is already on the market (instead of supporting possible unethical mining activities), but also provides you with a piece of jewelry with a narrative to tell. A lot of ladies would rather have an antique or pre-owned ring that has been worn and loved by someone else before they do. Anna Sheffield, a renowned jeweler, advises that, just as with plastic water bottles and aluminum cans, it is prudent to reuse the materials used to make your rings. You may acquire a beautiful ring and feel good about your purchase if the stones are old or from an estate and the metal is recycled.
You could be lucky enough to have had your mother ask you lately whether you "needed to use" Grandma's ring (hint hint). What we're about to tell you is that the answer is always yes. Even if it doesn't suit your taste. Keep in mind that any jeweler may remount the diamond from Grandma's ring into a setting that is more suitable for your future bride. Do your homework if you're set on wearing a contemporary ring. Since the word "conflict-free" isn't always regulated, it turns out that relying just on the label isn't sufficient. Spending your diamond money on the appropriate rock is very essential, so be sure to talk to your jeweler and request that any diamond he shows you is derived from a respected organization. This is a very personal purchase, so it's important to put in the additional time and care to ensure that the ring you end up with will bring you happiness and provide happiness to everyone who comes into contact with it. "Shopping with diamond responsibility in mind implies that you have a genuine interest in matters greater than simply the ring," Katie Oren, 33, a sales manager from California who has been married for four years, told us.
Size isn't everything (or price)
That lady of yours is savvy enough to realize that the carat weight of her diamond has nothing to do with how much she means to you. There are a variety of strategies to save money while still receiving a stunning ring. In the first place, let's talk about carats. The price of a diamond increases proportionally with its carat weight. If you want to prevent a price increase, how do you do it? You need to brake short right before the humps. According to Maines, if you're on a tight budget, you should always choose a stone that falls just short of the following tier. She explains that the 1.37-carat stone will be a better value than the 1.5-carat stone since the "major carat weight markings" are.5,.75, 1, 1.5, 2, etc.
It's important to note a couple more aspects...
Is this some kind of new ruse? In place of a single large diamond, multiple smaller ones are combined. Mainas advises those on a strict budget to "spread the carats around" by purchasing a number of lesser diamonds or gemstones to create a "funky, badass, cluster appearance." To confirm what you already knew, it's not quantity but quality that matters. To which Mainas responds, "Is the quantity of carats important?" Nope. To the contrary. How a diamond disperses and reflects light, however, is crucial. Pick the best cut grades available. When reviewing a diamond certificate, the word "good" is nearly never acceptable. The bare minimum, in Mainas's opinion? The highest possible rating system, "very excellent." To put it mildly, we approve. It's also good to know that the old saying that you shouldn't spend more than two months' wages is completely obsolete. We no longer live in an era when there is a recommended budget. Considering the wide variety of rings available, it's important to prioritize personal preference above setting a budget cap. You should never feel obligated to spend more money than you have on an engagement ring for your girlfriend. Mainas, the owner of Little Bird, often tells her customers, "Before you even speak a figure out loud, think about what is genuinely a-okay for you to part with right now. Stop taking out loans right now. And if you ever want to have a financial relationship with her, don't make a purchase that might make her uncomfortable. Chicago lawyer and five-year spouse Kristin Wyosnick concurs. If I found out he spent a lot of money on it or used all his life savings, I'd be quite upset. Now that you're a couple (or soon to be one), it's crucial that you both exercise fiscal restraint while making purchases for one another. Sheffield, a designer of fine jewelry, notes that not everyone wants a large, obscenely sized diamond ring. It seems to me that physical attractiveness depends on the observer more than the object being admired. Amazing in appearance, diamonds may be both flawless and flawed in just the right ways. It's important to think about the size of the completed ring you'll really want to wear every day in this day and age.
Also, keep in mind...
Keep in mind that you'll be wearing this ring constantly (while going about normal activities like typing or driving), so larger isn't necessarily preferable. Chicago housewife Anne Helen told us she had to adjust the diamond setting on her engagement ring because it was too high. To paraphrase, "After destroying my sixth sweater, I made a decision to do something." Some people find that a smaller stone benefits both their hands and their wallets. Are you experiencing less stress now? Stronger? Are you prepared to go shopping? Even though you'll never fully grasp the ecstasy that may be sparked by a handful of gemstones in the hands of a woman, arming yourself with some information before you get to the jewelry counter can help you make a good ethical decision that she'll be proud to show off.
